Hey Tumblr?! FUCK YOU You dont even work!

Okay so right about now its been a couple years since ive legitimately sat down and wrote even lyrics to sing as i blindly pluck away at a guitar i dont own, let alone confide in a computer screen. Right about now im sitting in the dark, propped up with pillows, legs up, on a couch i down even own. Right about now, is one of those times that darkness just enters my mind and wont let go of my thoughts, poisoning them. Something made me want to capitalize “poisoning”. Maybe its because negativity capitalizes the mind like poison. But right about now I just cant get shit off my mind. Tug of wars of broken dreams and failed attempts to die. Right about now im wishing that my life has some direction or hope. Im tired of Not knowing, nothing to reach, nothing to hold on to. Right about now im even fucking sick of these repetitive ”right about nows” i decided as to keep some sort of order to this random babbling, so fuck it. I have someone in my life that… at the moment isnt making any of this easier… she lets her feelings come first. I must not be suffering over here, ready to fucking shoot… How am i doing is hardly the question. I feel as if my best friend and love of my life even doesnt know what im going through and maybe never will, till suddenly im gone. But right about now im blubbering, dampening the keys on a fucking keyboard, of a computer i dont even own… I wish you knew this pain. I wish you knew me. I wish you held me. I wish to go. Thats it.